Tell me what's wrong or I'll snap you in half.

Tell me something about yourself. Tell me what do you fear the most.

Regression.

Or perhaps it's growth into something undesirable. Between the two, I can't choose only one.

Limitation. Something that everybody has. And something that most of us want to overcome, myself is no exception. Become a good person. Become a good person with a will. And warmth. This has nothing to do with anything.

Now, a step forward. Then another one.

Be practical. Practical and kind. Put your thoughts down to words, your visions to products. Simplify, simplify, simplify. And we'll see where I'll get to at the end of this chapter.

Parallel point of orbits

You haven't stopped running.
Neither have I.

And things don't need to change. You don't need to wait for me. It's not like we're running on the same track anyway.
I'll get there someday, I'll get to a point of a rough equivalent to yours. 
I just need to run faster.

Don't be afraid. If you do, just look beyond.

The best feeling in life is when you're down, kicked around, tired and alone (impossible tasks mounting in queue, emotions going round in haywire and did I mention the dire need to sleep and the harmful miasma?) You were so overwhelmed you resorted to flip the rug and let the dirt out - the amount of things you have swept under it was just too much...

And then, the universe just seemingly conspired to make you feel better from that point on - schedule easing up to give you sleep and time to cook, professors taking turns to cheer you up, old friends calling in, new friends standing by, nicer part of the orbit showing positive irregularity,-

- there is Love in that. The One with a capital letter in front, the One passed down through multiple channels and multiple beings both sentient and not. On the other hand, it may be a series of fortunate coincidences. But I, as I've mentioned multiple times, am a huge fan of stories and it is still a heartwarming and well developed plot points. So, if I can have a herd of passing by stars as my annual birthday present, why not this?

Some of the most impactful advices I got from both the Bible and my parents. Among them is a bold "Don't be afraid. Especially if you feel like it's the right thing to be brave about."

The highest form of Love was a huge sacrifice to give people the freedom to do the right things. For me, it's kinda like "Hey, look. Even if they judge you, shame you and trample on you because of that, it's alright, man. You're still loved, you are still wanted, and it's never too late. Even if you have to end your life prematurely because of that, well, there's a secret and it's a good one: there is some other things beyond this one. You are free now, so go ahead and love your brethren, enjoy the universe, explore your potential - this may be the only chance you could be in this specific incarnation, so live this one to the fullest, yeah? Just keep in mind that you also have to look beyond, kay? See you there."

And for all that, I thank the Lord in my prayers.

Sent

Well.

Where there is injury, pardon

So lately I've been running a blog again, aside from Tumblr, and it's a school project related blog.

It's exciting, but disconcerting at the same time. The fact that I'm writing post after post that will go into my grades is still foreign for me. As for my personal thought recorder though, of course it's been going into something else. 

Where there is error, truth.

I've been thinking here and there, re-thinking a few stuffs, revisiting several milestones. I may have changed a bit - in a few months time I'll need a new haircut, and I've been through several cycle of maintenances, made bits of mental adjustments here and there. 

But in the end, I still want to be a person who stays after all. Sometimes it's harder, you know - staying put and holding the front. 

But some people need that. Some people would always need that - heck, even I do. I do like that tiny patch of peace of mind. A comforting ideal that there is somewhere, in which a friend will surely give you a warm welcome with a fresh pot of hot drink ready at bay if you ever knock at their door. 

I want to be one such person. 

Where there is doubt, faith.

I thought that was obvious enough.

That reminds me. There is a story I haven't found a suitable title for. How do you pick a name for your own diary anyway?

Where there is despair, hope.

"Tell me you are here to stay
In this crazy mixed up world
And we can still make it right"
"On Your Way Home" - the Hiatus.


Where there is darkness, light.
And where there is sadness, joy.

Empty chairs and empty tables

Sometimes, I just don't want to go. I don't feel like going. 

The food here is warm. The blanket is warm. And people get to grow with their parents, and silly friends. Sometimes we go out and have warm dinner. There's no need to question how we are going to rank in the hierarchy of the world. 

There is no need to cry over questions.

I'm worse at what I do best

Another cold shoulder is just what I need. What can I say? Facing it is what I'm good at.

But show me kindness and I'd just crumble into sea foam and salty tears.

And for this gift I feel blessed.