Come on, don't waste your life.

Make good use of your curiosity. If you could afford to, learn to understand as much as you can. Because there is always a possibility that in some parallel worlds in the fourth dimension, the other version of you is currently facing mortal dangers or crisis with little hope available. In such cases, an off-handed thought, a vague deja-vu or the like, could be the only thing that would allow her to find a way out. And your purpose of life in this version of reality could have been to find that information and transmit it to her through an imaginary field or whatever.

I mean, who knows, right? At the very least, you and I can imagine it when the reality bores the souls out of us and life gets uninteresting.
Or it's just me wanting to play that sequel of 999, Virtue's Last Reward.
Damn, that plot is so appetizing.

Doddle

It's been quite awhile since I took up my digital pen and actually doodled something. This one was not drawn today, but a couple of weeks ago, I think. I was cleaning my folders when I found this staring back at me. The final edited version is already up somewhere (wish you a good luck if you intent to find it) but somewhere in my mind, I thought that these colours are not bad.

So I put it up here. Just for fun.

Now that I have more time (supposedly), I should be able to do more of things like this.

The Fourth Flip

Just caught up with some of the news about this 'war' between a government's institution and students studying in a foreign country.

Students, as intellectual buds, have always played a big role in shaping a country internally, playing the 'people power' factor as the mobilising engines of change. I recall the analysis gained from my history lesson. The first part of nationalism reform was conducted by the intellectual elites studying abroad at that time, with a sense of enlightenment of logic but a high stake considering their aristocratic status. They strove to push the nation forward in a moderate way, but with an obvious hindrance of elite-mass disenchantment, seeing that the mass of that time had little to no access to education. This was the first impact.

The next set of students were the home-grown intellectual elites. Those who could connect more with the situation on ground with less personal stake on themselves considering the outdated aristocratic system. They could afford to be more revolutionary and critical. Combined with the evolving international political environment, this second impact brought independence to nations.

The third impact came from home-grown students in the post-independence era. They could relate with the situation on ground, definitely, with an even less stake on themselves considering that the 'enemy' was an internal one. At the same time, the negative side of the home-grown education system began to show. The little attention put into developing the education system had made the students seemed less and less refined over time. Their intellectual minds were curious, disgruntled by the negative trends happening around them. Yet few could spot the actual problem, and the internal nature of it had made the situation more complicated than what could be pictured by a classic 'Star Wars' movie - heroes vs. evil empire. Hence the incomplete revolution. Hence the start of a ballooning collective confusion.

Then, perhaps this is the fourth impact, a next phase. Here we have a more-or-less changed mass demographic with the advent of technology, and foreign-grown students as the new agents. Those intellectuals are equipped with more proportion of intellectual satisfactions, the insight of objectivity from looking at something from the outside and the critical perspectives many has been longing for. Yet as people of non-aristocratic social structure and globalised environment, their stakes and needs to please the power holder have been reduced significantly. Adding to that is the increasing mass impatience and a couple of ripples that had granted to many, a clearer vision of what they want to see. This entirely new combination had hardly existed before.

Isn't it fascinating?

An obviously unwanted voice

Ok, I've seen enough. Can't bear to view more of them, to be exact. It's haunting. Not disturbing in particular, but - hmm how can I express this with an understandable phrase - ok - are you familiar with the sentence "it's hurt to look back"? Yes, that kind of hurt, that kind of disturbance. It reminds me of my own kind of thoughts back then. Back then when I was producing the content of those four notebooks.

Those four notebooks are currently sitting idly at the corner of my working space. I've been thinking for a while (like, for three and a half years?) if I should burn them. It hurts just to think about what's inside.

As for why I did not answer it specifically..

Because it's my drug and abusers don't proclaim their addictions to the world so openly, unless the listener really cares about it.

On Fear

Of course it is scary. Knowing nothing scares humans. I'm not even sure of the things I actually have. Maybe I've learnt something and obtained some other things after all these years. Maybe I've had nothing to begin with. While people around me are going on with their lives, their struggles, problems and contemplations, perhaps I am the one who has been running on a circular track. Ignorant and childishly oblivious. Vain and obnoxious. Boy, how terrible this nightmarish thought is. So horribly frightening that I could understand why some would avoid to think about it in the first place and end up sinking deeper into the hellhole of an egoist's irrationality.

stop and go

"A lot of reasons to hate the life, but I subjugate them with love in my way - I love the way you are, I love the way you do." ~I'll do it for Love.

Pretty much sum up my primitive line of motivation. By primitive, I mean 'has been effective since invented'. I got the time to elaborate, but nah, I'm hitting the keyboard for a different cause lately.

Oh yeah. Cheers, pink elephants. This day was born to be awesome from the start.

Beautiful

"No matter what, life is so damn beautiful. Everything comes back and it's so cool. - Unexpected things happen but life goes on. - Life is so damn beautiful."
Unexpected - Lotus Juice

That gotta be the coolest lyric I've heard in months.

On Worries

“Guess? Dear, dear the humanly you. You’re young, you have something to desire for, you have the chance, you have me and you don’t want to insult it.”

I love that line.

But coming back to the reality, I really don't have the privilege of being backed up by a megapolis-controlling man. I'm vulnerable to the system, and the rest of my life is seemingly held by the mercy of an examination syndicate.

Of course I have my Faith. Nevertheless, this humanly one couldn't help but to have her humanly worries. Hence I appreciate the kind words and wisdoms of confidence. Time goes on whether one life does too or not. In time like this, to say the truth, what else could we do? An optimist I shall be and catch the good luck in the cyclone hopefully we will. I'll go wherever I'm sent to as decided. My heart takes shelter not under the bliss of ignorance but the shield of the Prince of Peace. As for my naked feet, they walk on.

"But of course, you should watch your tongue. The only person that you could surely hurt with your belittling would be yourself. You may be not what you eat, but human, you have a tendency to take what you believe in as the truth. Then the truth it will be to you."

Knites

Sorry for spamming deviantArt stuffs... but actually I'm quite far from regretful about that.

I'm a fan of Sen. But this scene of Kai is
something that I can relate myself with. Not too mention that
he's an awesome realist with high level of
ground-level awareness.

THIS. I think it's something that could be enjoyed by those who has any concern for the world that we live on today, optimists and pessimists alike. Both idealists and realists may find inspirations and for once, feel connected in the plot. In my opinion, it's a today's generation's hard-boiled story.

All credits goes to yuumei. Not me. (my other name is Yumei but I swear it's something irrelevant to this in any possible way)

1000 Words

This made me cry. Almost.

If I have extra credits to spend, I'd buy the physical book.

The creator, Yuumei, is probably my favorite artist in deviantArt. She's good at drawing and her works are motivational and thoughtful. Additionally, they help me to counter the side effect of some rampant prejudices around here. About dA, it's a wonderful sites where artists, professional and amateurs alike, gather and support each other. Unlike most social media, they have a good culture of respect and mutual support.

Put it back together. Of course.

"By The Way, ...

..what have you done for Him lately?"
~Joyful, Joyful (Sister Act 2)

btw^2, Sister Act's "I will follow Him" was and inspiration that led me to think that 'Love' could really be an universal concept. I mean the song was originally a non-religious love song and look at how the lyric could fit nicely there. xD

On My Room

And so the words reached me that my room is currently being dismantled. Yes, that humble private chamber in which I spent countless hours formulating dreams, works and world revolution. :) I always remember the room as a nice attempt of personification. When I'm not around, they use it as a practical dumping room, so much that it ended up with the capacity to accommodate two-four people nicely as both bedroom and workshop.. to my friends' glee.

There were a wardrobe that I have been using since my birth, a stone desk that had been around probably for seven decades before I was conceived. There were a bed from the year in which they granted me a personal room and a small desk given to me when I entered primary school. There's a wooden vanity five or six decades older than me, from the era when they still made those furniture insanely heavy and sturdy, like an airtight saving box (in fact, I've found some couple of poor cockroaches dried from suffocation before inside its cupboard). In short, a humble time capsule and a miniature wreck of everything.

I've seen its ground cracked (dividing the room almost in half. lousy ceramic placing.). I've seen its sky fell (complete with a nice flash waterfall). It has seen me (and my friends) through the most quirky moment. It has listened to the playlist I've come up with my old stereo every evening. It has kept me company in time of delight and sorrow.

When I get back there, some of it would have changed. Some of it would have stayed, though (I love the airtight cupboard so much). But then again, what doesn't? It would have to witness my post-a-level self too, anyway. So let's continue to get along, alright? And keep being nice to Ami, that perpetually playful companion of mine.

W.I.W.

Because my brain throws a constant tantrum for the lack of quote-worthy Indonesian product.

Huzzah. xDDD

"If you're seeing no value in your life,

...and are prepared to throw it away,

would you mind giving it to me?

I need it for a cause."

Lux in Tenebris

That's what You are. That's what you lot are.

Nap

I had a dream. There was someone I haven't seen in a while there.
It's nice. Since we're never the ones for words or even active efforts to stay in contact,
it's very unlikely that we're going to start any of them soon.
Because even in the dream, we didn't get to talk. xD
So I'll just take it as a form of silent encouragement from a far away place,
the one that I'd never get in the real plane.

At first it arrived on time. Then, late by two weeks, then, two days.
Recently, nothing at all.
Not a problem. Do I look like I care?

calling upon all the underdogs

Because I am so in love with the street's personality that just screams the face of individuality and self-made obligations. In facing the literal need to survive, one could not bother to be fake. And when they succeed, they'd smile widely and brightly. There is no need to mask them with forced humility. I mean, it's a very noble trait - that's why it's kinda eye-cringing to see it so reduced to a cheap make-up tool, moreover so when it's poorly executed.

"I'm not crawling, by the way, I'm rolling and bouncing and pretty much alive and kicking!"

Obviously quoted. See the thread below. xD

Quite a motivating statement, I think. Caffeine drive might play a part in this, but a piece of thought from a friend is definitely nice. Wait. Friend? Well~

Kay, it's on!

Oh the thrill

I just need to walk it.

And this one, I dedicate it to my best friend. My trusted partner in wit and positivity. Seriously, logically, she. should. have. been. here. either with me, or instead of me. Four years, and I'm still blaming her for, indirectly of course, putting me through this roller coaster track made of miracles. A stupid nonchalant chat after an uneventful silat lesson, and all the pranks I've ever pulled on her was paid in full rather suddenly. Fate, if you're there, what on Earth.

Also, to another person that I hold dear, for the unspoken motivation. Probably the purest form of feeling I've ever known so far. You have done nothing (if my memory doesn't fail me. and yes, I'm deeply amused.), yet so much. So very much. If that wasn't a fragment of Love (with capital L, which means something similar to that divine and universal motivation which composes the teaching that founded my Faith. definitely not the butchered version of it adopted by the fast food culture.), I don't know what is.

Also, since I've touched on that holy topic of Love, I might as well mention my thanks to the source of that Love, THE Father. With all the solemnity I can express in a simple web log entry. For blessing me with the meetings with aforementioned persons and for everything. 'Nuff said. Last but not least is literally literal. I don't need to ramble in vanity for This One. He knows already, anyway. x)

With that, I'm retiring for the night. Good night!