Innocent World

Good evening,

Anyone who read my twitter now would read that I've decided to practically ignore someone.

I

Shallow Sleep

I still want to write something light.

I need sleep. I really do. Something "big" came yesterday, something that requires me to effectively manage my time and leave some space in my mind to generate some ideas.
It's not related to school, though. That's why I'm kinda, excited.

Letting something out, I think that's a good thing, sometimes.

Lately, I've been organizing my mind. I don't want those draggy draggy feeling of annoyance. I need something to distract me away. In these limited free time, what's more effective than music?
Therefore, I'm officially addicted to music.

Once in a blue moon, I'll share something. This is one song that I think is very beautiful, even though it's practically unknown to most people, I think.



Anyone like it? Do tell. Or ask about anything.
As for myself, I like music very, very much. I think I'll post more music in this blog. It somehow tells my emotion or mood more effectively than my confusing (?) words.

To those who commented, I thank you.

Have a good night,

aurell4173

-interlude- Realisation

It's one thirty in the morning and I'm still awake, haven't made present for the birthday girls, and have a mental note to wake up early tomorro... a few hours later.

...spare me. *sigh

And I realised that, my blog entries are SUPER long..!!! @.@ I've read some people's blogs, and even the most talkactive ones don't have blog entries as long as... these!

Oh, wow. That's the lightest (coz it's the shortest) entry I ever wrote. But it's just an interlude though.

Good day,

aurell4173

Cappucino Rumba (DownPour)

There's a request for me to write something that's ..light.

Alright, alright...!! I'll try since it's my new post of the new decade! 8D

But my mood is not exactly "light" now, so how? (laugh)

Ehh.. ok. I'll write.

Since last week, I have been down from cold. @.@ Ter-ri-ble. Mmrgh.
Plus, my cca which is getting more and more... pressing. If only their music are craps, I've walked out since long.
Plus, a direct, critical hit from a tooth-surgery bill that is costing like, 3 months worth of my living allowance. The dentist said I was very "maturely calm" in taking the news. Yeah, right.. -.-
Plus, my tasks is starting to pile up, and my schedules are overlapping each other.
Plus, some other things that are ticking on my nerves. Just because I'm not saying, it doesn't mean I've lost my sensitivity. Some people should be very, very thankful that I'm a pacifist.

And.. here I am, pinned by my flu to a state of non-coherent thoughts. A state practically impossible to pound on any homework. Not that there's that many, thankfully.

School has started again, these kind of things (except the medical things) is not surprising.


Then, there's that sad news. One of my favorite teacher last year, a very kind English teacher, Ms. Low Wai Lin, has just passed away last Wednesday. She was one of the kindest teacher in my school, one that was kind enough when I was down.

It think all of her students miss her. When the news reached us, all of us cried. It was quite sudden. It was unexpected.

I was too, unsurprisingly. But these kind of things have been in my mind since long. Though unsure whether it's a good or bad thing, I was not too deep in grief. For those who believe, death is a salvation, like an absolute end of a long journey. She is a good person, I'm quite sure she will reach a nice final destination. Thinking it from that point, I'm glad if she's no longer suffering. If it's the best thing for her, I should not hold her back. Though separation is painful, though loss is hard to accept, but that's our responsibility to bear it as a being that is still living. Anyway, soon or later all things will meet again. At least, I believe so.

I pray and wish the best for her. I think, I respect her. That's all that living beings can do for her, that's one of the reason why I chose not to go to her wake beside my worsening teeth. I don't want to offend anybody, really. It's just that I don't know what others may think, but to be honest I love her too, and though I don't exaggerate to cry a lot or helping much in the gifts, my wishes and prays are sincere. That's all that are important.

...am I too cold of a person? Hmm..

I noticed that nowadays, I've gained (a little) courage to show what I like, and what I dislike. (although some people still -awesomely- assume that I'm a type of person that love only classic music, romantic blues and "candy" pop.. -.- very funny.. Just because I'm breathing deeply and sleep peacefully in transports, it doesn't always mean my music on my iPod are not having gorgeous, sometimes wild, or at times honestly dramatic bass and beats.)

I almost gave up to give the "right" appearance to my emotions. I mean my size is definitely misleading and my sense of fashion is a bit non-stereotypical. But one of my aspiration is to be someone who would like herself. One who would not curse herself, or blaming herself of her past action. One would can proudly say, "If I were someone else, and I meet this 'me', I would like that guy very much." I think such person would live a very happy and enjoyable life.

Oh, and it's different from being obsessively self-centric, just for a reminder. Coz' I dislike (yes, dislike, not hate. I don't wish to hate anybody) selfish people. So if I were to like myself, I should not be a selfish person.

Got the idea? Is it confusing? I know I'm easily misunderstood, but at least I still hope anyone who read this get the hang of it.


Have a good day,

aurell4173