"If I were told to stop dreaming, I'd rather die."
Even though it's just hypothetical speech, I feel.. I don't know. Maybe. Probably. Reality is not that bad, yes. But there is this... feeling.. that something is incomplete. I wonder what it is. It just exists. It makes me bored of all this mundane tasks. Life is less amusing when you got all of it down in checklists and written schedules.
I like dreaming, be it daydreaming, imagining things or night time dreaming, which are more unpredictable, usually. I like dreaming about things that are not real. I avoid 'what if's just as much as I avoid looking back at choices that I sometimes regret. Things like that would only throw me into depressions. Lately, I have been getting enough of those that I don't bother asking for more.
I enjoy the worlds in my dreams. The worlds that both me and my subconscious mind build together. They are certainly not paradises, but it's just nice to recall them. Nicer than watching movies, which just does not... resonate... with me, most of the time. I go into journeys. Exploration of possibilities. Of ideas. Of theories. Of simulations. Of mazes of relationships.
Sometimes my trips are so enjoyable that I don't want to forget them. Just like a tourist taking pictures of the places they visit and musicians describing waves of feelings with melodies, I penned/typed them down, first in my mind, and sometimes in my laptop. Within those words, I exist. Those are the evidence of my life, of my thoughts, of my feelings, hopes, despairs and time. There are people that I have seen, physically and mentally. It is not even rare to find pieces of myself at a point of time inside them. Those are practically my mind scape.
And the euphoria. Goodness. It is just ecstatic to look back through those things. I am not only seeing the black words on white screen. There are moving pictures as vivid as a HD movie. There are feelings that I remember myself be overwhelmed with at some points of time. There are thoughts that keeping me sane during waking hours.
Everything else doesn't really matter. This is my life. It never make much sense anyway.
:)
