What is love

Greetings, and good afternoon.

This topic came across my mind last night, but since it was too late (see my revolution to better my life pattern?) I decided to write it the next day.

I'll be home for Christmas

To all who care, (though I don't expect many)

I'm in a holiday. It's just occurred to me that I'm having one. Home sweet home. Cliche. Home is not always sweet. At times it can be spicy and sour as well. But anyway it's better than tasteless. Much better.

I was away for this past week. But I was not away from home. Right. There's some other places I would call home. What defines home? A place you write as your address? It's called house, not exactly home! Well at least for me.

This week was, great. I had so much fun till I don't count time anymore, it just ended so quickly. Well all good times are. Have fun until you feel time goes so fast. I read once that it's healthy. Sad. But well, I had fun. It's definitely better than pretending that I did. Having a real thing is absolutely better. Now I think I'll use my vocal cords more often for the rest of this holiday. Singing cures loneliness. Music is like my life, and I'm not exaggerating. My strongest memories of this week is music. It flowed from anywhere. The radio in cars I rode, TV and radio in that living room, from the room I was in, the room next door, the bathroom (...), and anywhere. Sometimes I would sing along, either the higher or lower harmony. There were many chance to do so. Even if I shy myself away many times, at the end I realized I sang quite a lot. I didn't feel alone at all, even when I was alone physically.

Cut it short. I don't want to spill it all. A lot of people would call this 'emo ranting' or whatever. Believe it, some people will just do. My memories and thoughts are my treasures. I simply don't want it to be stained by irresponsible and/or short minded people. I'm easily misunderstood enough.

Then why do I have this not-so-private blog? Dunno.

Maybe, I just want to give some people chance. To know me better, and hopefully, in the right way.

I'm glad if there're people who would bother themselves to check this out, and even more, give me some of your thoughts. But be gentle, please. It's a peaceful corner.

Oh yeah, Christmas is around the corner! I like Christmas. Out of religious reasons (which already matter much for me), it's a time when people gather, not in compulsory and auto pilot manner, at least not in my surrounding, but out of their will and desire to gather around and have some good time together. I can't say I love crowd, but I like this kind of feeling when people gather and be friendly to each other, willingly. It's just love that keep them close, I think. I'll meet people I want to meet again at that time. Those who I think deeply about, who I hold close to my thoughts since long.

There's many, many insincere gathering around nowadays, which I don't like, because although smiles are abound and a lot of noise were produced, for me it often feels like a masked party. There's no real point in it if the people aren't being honest with themselves in enjoying the time.

But for now, I don't want to write many about that. I'm in a good mood, right now, maybe.

I want to enjoy my time here. In any way I can, if possible.

Happy holiday,

aurell4173

Starry Sky

Without failing to notice, I realize it's almost December.

As usual, Christmas decorations are filling the town (by the way, I'm back in my hometown!), along with Christmas themed music albums at music shops. That means it's time to make another seasonal playlist in my kompie. One that is possible to be filled with songs from various choirs, L'Arc~en~Ciel, DEPAPEPE, David Archuletta, Mariah Carey and other musicians altogether. Music is universal. Yeah, that's something I believe.

One of my favorite Christmas song is this old song by John Lennon, War is Over.

When I was a kid, this theme of peace struck me through this song. And after some years of pondering and branching self thought, this one universal question left unanswered. "Is it possible after all?"

Even a kindergarten kid knows, that wars cannot solve problems. Still, war is not over. Even after millions of people wish for world's peace, even after some series of world-famous treaties, even after countless loss, to the point that "world's peace" become known as a cliche used by pageant contests, as if there's no point on wishing upon it.

Face it, it's true. Pessimistic view? Maybe. Maybe not. I'm just stating the fact. Human beings are terrible beings. Maybe the worst one.

We are persistently selfish. We are truly capable of sacrificing lots and lots of our fellow humans just for the worldly benefits of some people, mostly including ourselves. We use colourful excuses, both the real ones and the sugar coated ones. Ambition, money, to pride, love, and 'peace'. Seriously, it's actually kinda absurd, thoughts of some supposedly smart ones. How can we establish peace with guns in our hands in the first place? If not suppression by force and fear, then what?

I'm writing this, yet I'm in no right to blame others. Me, along with humans around me, are actually taking part in it. We are selfish. We think more of ourselves, of our own convenience, of our public images. When we slipped into making those our priority, often we ignore others', thus we, maybe sublimely, label people's worthiness subjectively, often unfairly.

Still, I think peace is a beautiful thing to dream of. Experiencing something may be different than dreaming it, obviously. For instance, right now I'm having my holiday. It's peaceful, without those hectic lifestyle and 'wars', yet sometimes boredom struck me. But still, this way is so much better than the hectic one, in my opinion. Talk about dull, but it's more peaceful with less worry and fear, also, I've got more hope. For me, it's peaceful. It's a break alright. A good night sleep time.

I think people deserve this kind of time, once in a while. Anyone.

But I know there're still people out there who live in constant fear, greater fear than we experience here in the cities. Fear for their lives. They were, and still are, even right now, as I write this, as you read this.

There are helping people, countless donations, and good looking peace projects we saw on world scale organizations. But.. you know what really happen yourselves. Just never forget to imagine beyond those limited, even restricted at many times, media coverages.

Quoting a saying by one of musician I like and respect, we should be at least be thankful with war restrictions in some countries. Just that. I don't know how many countries actually apply them, though, or how effective they are. It's just, be thankful that there's effort.

Personally, I believe we haven't lose all hope. Try to wish in your own way. It doesn't matter how small, as long as it's genuine. For once in a (hopefully shortest) while, think not about your pride, your own images, your benefits and well, yourselves. But rather try to be considerably sane, considerably human, in the good sense. Errare humane est, I know. But try to keep the sanity in check and mind your heart, that's all.

We got mind, so I think human beings do have the capability to be a better species.

Just for this simple wish, humans cry. Even the supposedly tough one. Even the supposedly anonymous one, like me. It's silly, but the idea of this post come from watching someone crying. Someone who wishes for peace in his own way. ..and maybe from the sound, the music I'm hearing. Being a music addict, I open that sense to capture feelings as good as I can with my other senses. Yeah, it's just like that.

Love, and peace (if possible)

aurell4173

Dreams that I hope would remain as dreams - I

This is a dream I had in... around June, I think. This one left me with so much impression that I still remember it until now. Moreover, there're several dreams that somehow are interconnected with each others.

They're just dreams, that's all. Nightmares, to be exact.

Well, readers, it's up to you to believe me or not. But I really had this dream, it's not some fiction I created.

-Day I-

It was a war. A big war, all across the world. There is nothing but few safe place. Even children, young teenagers were fighting, not for the country, instead for their lives. Houses were used as those students-turn-guerilla soldiers' bases. Teenagers were holding guns. At times enemies would come, trying to push down gates of houses, which were defended by the residents. It was a horrible sight, when those kids, in last desperate attempt, just shot repeatedly to the street beyond the gate, without even dare to open their eyes and aim. It's all to evacuate the kindergartens and the primary students to a safe place by military truck, so older children were defending that residential area. At quiet times the smaller children would lined up to the vehicles, accompanied by the teachers and mothers. Over time, the older children evacuated as well. But their future was unknown.

Songs These Days..

What defines a good singer?

Looks? Behavior? or the Music?

It's purely SUBJECTIVE.

For some reason, I started to think that public's perception has changed somehow to the first one. Well, if you just heard rabid ran-girls though. In Youtube and any other place for example. I found there're less and less reasonable comments lately. Quite disappointing for again, some reasons. But oh well. Guess the 'mind own business' policy apply quite nicely here. Had been using it quite frequently nowadays. Bad? Good? Neutral? Answer to such question, I think it's hard other choices other than (?).

For me myself, I have a quite stable view about it.

I just want to keep it clear. I mean, about the limit border about models and musicians.

Sure looks can't be ignored for those public figures. At least, you should look quite decent if you are going to go public. But it surely irritates me, when I talk about some musicians, and the first response is 'Is he/she handsome/pretty?' or 'How old is she/he?'

What the heck?

I'm talking about music. Isn't the sense that is supposed to be most important about it is our hearing?

Okay, maybe celebrity can be funny, good looking, has unique taste, sense, philosophical perception and whatever. I'm a female teenager, it's not that I don't like those traits in public figures, especially if they are real, in the sense of natural instead of scripted.

But when I talk about music, I don't want to be a childishly bias person. This entry shall mark my resolution. In the sense, that I don't want to 'categorize' a song as old or new, used in concert or in movies soundtrack or whatever.

So, in short I recognize a good celebrity as those who are good at their field. A good singer is she who sing nicely. An excellent musician is someone who create enjoyable musics. For those who are good looking, I'll say he/she is a nice magazine cover model. Those who are good at dancing, are more suitable to be a background dancer at the stage, except if they do have the skill to sing clearly while dancing. Call it.. something like, pro. Yeah, a pro would be ready to be tested about his skill all the way while admitting flaws, taking consistency and risks, at the same time be who he/she is. I see it as a difficult thing to have, the title of professional, I mean. That is why I respect true professionals, which some of them are often found to be underrated by the so-called modern society. That is why at times I frowned at mock professionals.

Yes, I AM picky at choosing someone to be respected or to be recognized. But it also different from picking things to listen to or to watch. Confused? In other terms, it's like.. I'm not picky for food. Usually, I'll just eat anything offered or given to me and smile at it, saying 'it's good'. (even in my childhood, my policy was 'good people are people who offer food to me') But for me to honestly say, 'this is really delicious', is quite rare.

Well, I think people need to have their own certain standard of taste, be it in food or arts.

Back to music.

My music preference is considerably wide. I'm the type of person who has both classical and rock music as a good night lullaby. There are songs which I liked, in both music rhythm and lyrics. Both factors are important to me. I'll just roughly ignore songs with trashy (in the sense of 'desperately want to be recognized') music or those with cliche, and even worst- nonsense lyrics, or standard voice. Just following the note on the sheet is not supposed to be a nice singing. I prefer voices that are expressive, which produced when the singer really put his/her heart to the lyric and the purpose of the song. It has certain charisma inside, and it's not attainable by text book theories. It's a poem with music, a story condensed to a few minutes performance or record.

But of course, if you're talking about feeling, it will be quite subjective. What I call a 'soulful' thing, may be seen differently by others. So as long as it's not too discriminative I won't mind. I love to take things easy.

A few days ago, I encountered a song, a rock- ballad. But somehow, there is something inside the lyric and some feeling in the voices.

Believe me, that song stayed, clenched my brain and driving my emotion for two whole days before I finally calmed down. On the way, as with my other strong inspirations, it gave me a series of philosophical thoughts, creative ideas and all those illegible things.

Yep, it is subjective. I was unfazed with some 'big name' songs people were talking about how romantic they were, but this kind of unheard (at least in my place) song can touch me so deeply.

Regret? No, there's nothing, at all.

I guess.. I should be proud to have my own taste. I guess this kind of thing is declining in nowadays society, which I often see be biased by the media and trends, to the point of describing the whole principal of the fallacy 'appeal to popularity'.

By the way, I got a buddy. Cheers.

aurell4173

A Blog is Born

Finally, I have decided to make a blog.. Why? Why indeed.. (first of all.. what am I actually doing in such a time??)

..guess the modifications and things would have to wait. It's almost half past three.. in the morning. What the...

Night..,

aurell4173