That really hits the spot. A critical blow. When experienced personally, the term 'shaken up' can be literal. This I just discovered a couple of hours ago. I can't really describe it... Just as one cannot accurately explain the sensation of a mental shiver in metaphysical incidents.
I don't really want to talk about the roller coaster of emotions that has been fatiguing me
, so let's just say I'm empathizing with a certain inspiring character.
He's a.... good-hearted man to boot. He may be a bit of a goon, that adorable laughing stock. His tactics in work is questionable at best, laughable in essence. But when we look past the dry humors, it's obvious that his persistance stems from his complete trust in people, a notion that's neither practical nor wise in this pragmatic and twisted world, but noble nonetheless. He damn well understands how painful it is to be alone, to be secluded, to be helpless and wrongly judged. He understands that wash of relief, that revived faith and hope when, at such time, a just person can feel that he is not alone. That's the reason behind his chosen way of pro bono life, practically. It fuels his spirit when the time comes for him to drop the whole goofy act, summon his confidence and convincing charisma and embrace the truth.
He can't stand betrayal.
He endures sorrow and puts all he got into his works, but one carelessness, one small betrayal ruins it all. His life, one that he has so carefully and painstakingly built, crumbles within days. His pride turns into his shame. And the worst part? It is a fact that he indeed makes a mistake. Despite it being a trap laid by ill-intentioned people, he is the one who walks into the pitfall and down he goes. He's fully aware that his carelessness does play a part in this. For one who holds truth and justice in high regards, denial is hardly an option. Hence the truth hits him hard. He's personally shaken up. Lost. Alone.
Nevertheless, he eventually deals with it. He keeps walking through the dim path of thorny shame and patience. He finds a new light and holds it tight, determined to right the wrong, to face the complicated truth and expose it to the open air. It is a long journey and it takes a lot of time, even longer than the duration of his past glorious days. Things change along the way, and so does he. He is wounded and scarred, but he also matures even more. Growing up is indeed a fascinating experience.
And in the end, he indeed manages to return at last.
