Cappucino Rumba (DownPour)

There's a request for me to write something that's ..light.

Alright, alright...!! I'll try since it's my new post of the new decade! 8D

But my mood is not exactly "light" now, so how? (laugh)

Ehh.. ok. I'll write.

Since last week, I have been down from cold. @.@ Ter-ri-ble. Mmrgh.
Plus, my cca which is getting more and more... pressing. If only their music are craps, I've walked out since long.
Plus, a direct, critical hit from a tooth-surgery bill that is costing like, 3 months worth of my living allowance. The dentist said I was very "maturely calm" in taking the news. Yeah, right.. -.-
Plus, my tasks is starting to pile up, and my schedules are overlapping each other.
Plus, some other things that are ticking on my nerves. Just because I'm not saying, it doesn't mean I've lost my sensitivity. Some people should be very, very thankful that I'm a pacifist.

And.. here I am, pinned by my flu to a state of non-coherent thoughts. A state practically impossible to pound on any homework. Not that there's that many, thankfully.

School has started again, these kind of things (except the medical things) is not surprising.


Then, there's that sad news. One of my favorite teacher last year, a very kind English teacher, Ms. Low Wai Lin, has just passed away last Wednesday. She was one of the kindest teacher in my school, one that was kind enough when I was down.

It think all of her students miss her. When the news reached us, all of us cried. It was quite sudden. It was unexpected.

I was too, unsurprisingly. But these kind of things have been in my mind since long. Though unsure whether it's a good or bad thing, I was not too deep in grief. For those who believe, death is a salvation, like an absolute end of a long journey. She is a good person, I'm quite sure she will reach a nice final destination. Thinking it from that point, I'm glad if she's no longer suffering. If it's the best thing for her, I should not hold her back. Though separation is painful, though loss is hard to accept, but that's our responsibility to bear it as a being that is still living. Anyway, soon or later all things will meet again. At least, I believe so.

I pray and wish the best for her. I think, I respect her. That's all that living beings can do for her, that's one of the reason why I chose not to go to her wake beside my worsening teeth. I don't want to offend anybody, really. It's just that I don't know what others may think, but to be honest I love her too, and though I don't exaggerate to cry a lot or helping much in the gifts, my wishes and prays are sincere. That's all that are important.

...am I too cold of a person? Hmm..

I noticed that nowadays, I've gained (a little) courage to show what I like, and what I dislike. (although some people still -awesomely- assume that I'm a type of person that love only classic music, romantic blues and "candy" pop.. -.- very funny.. Just because I'm breathing deeply and sleep peacefully in transports, it doesn't always mean my music on my iPod are not having gorgeous, sometimes wild, or at times honestly dramatic bass and beats.)

I almost gave up to give the "right" appearance to my emotions. I mean my size is definitely misleading and my sense of fashion is a bit non-stereotypical. But one of my aspiration is to be someone who would like herself. One who would not curse herself, or blaming herself of her past action. One would can proudly say, "If I were someone else, and I meet this 'me', I would like that guy very much." I think such person would live a very happy and enjoyable life.

Oh, and it's different from being obsessively self-centric, just for a reminder. Coz' I dislike (yes, dislike, not hate. I don't wish to hate anybody) selfish people. So if I were to like myself, I should not be a selfish person.

Got the idea? Is it confusing? I know I'm easily misunderstood, but at least I still hope anyone who read this get the hang of it.


Have a good day,

aurell4173