On silence and reflections

I adore silence. Most of my really-treasured moments are actually certain memorable periods of silences, even those including other people in it.



That feeling when I think that no excessive words and/or actions are necessary, when I simply enjoyed that time spent in presence of perhaps another individual(s), either in complete inaction or light individual activities, is truly blissful. A simple presence that motivates and inspires me, generates even more creative ideas and energy, and more importantly, makes me feeling safe, somehow. Those moments could simply be remembered as beautiful in its own, perhaps indescribably, and those few people with whom I could experience such moments with are my dearest, most respected and trusted persons (or being, in my pet dog's case).

 I think, modern people nowadays treat silence as awkward, something that they somehow cannot accept due to either their insecurities or distrusts. Why would I assert so, well, to put it simply, most people wouldn't feel comfortable being with someone they don't know really well for a prolonged time, moreover so in this kind of fast-paced and individualistic era. Identities and impressions are seemingly become more important than ever for most young people. Somehow. I see most of them as being frantically confused when they are faced with unknown inter-persons interactions, having assumed that knowing what to do/say is absolutely necessary in bonding, and ended up opting for overused phrases/topics/actions/reactions that does not really matter even for themselves, making interactions seemingly superficial and ironically awkward.

That, and/or the fact that I'm simply a rather introverted individual.

Though, I'm well aware that I, also, am an adolescent that would sometimes be caught in the same trap, too, despite a lot of things. I admit I'm not the most social person out there, and, being used to think hard about the unthinkable - namely emotions and mind - perhaps I would never understand some feelings fast enough to process it properly. Certain things I'm really lacking in exposure of, like anger, and when such thing really came by subtly, I'd get multiple ideas and guesses and ended up being burnt out. Or maybe it's just me being blur.

Admittedly, sometimes my own mind could be the most unpredictable thing that I simply couldn't comprehend. There are so many vague ideas flying around and they are unclassifiable, although there are some empty channels for them to, supposedly, fit into. And when I compare it with others, there can be a lot of differences that somehow make me wary, leading me to impersonate some of the things I assume to be fitting to fill such place. Sometimes they work, and sometimes they ended up not fitting well. In short, it's just trial and error. Some vital errors could make a large chunk of it to break, but they can (and have) to be rebuild, although certain degree of damage would be irritatingly difficult to cure.

Looking at the displays of insecurities that a lot of people describe in their own logs, perhaps, that is actually the way majority of people grow, too. The flexible and tolerant ones would not be tired of mending this mysterious puzzle to better it, but the inflexible people would left it alone and faked comforts and contentment only to find something missing later. Inflexible...? Maybe they just lack the time or energy to reflect upon such things. That's possible, too.