I remember someone asked me why, so

It's neither here nor there. I won't be going around calling myself, of all people, a masochist. It's just, you know, I've been around for around two decades. I've not a complete list of what a person can possibly experience in life, yet, but I've checked some of that indeed. Now, among them is what one would call some moments of considerable anxiety and/or desperation. There's two possible ways to go through that: with or without company of others and to put it simply, the later has a statistically bigger tendency to be more devastating, both during and after the entire process.

Therefore it's a simple matter of my own wish, to not let any of individuals I call friends to go down that route. No, mate, you're not going to as far as I can help it - which is not much actually and largely depends on your discretion to opt for someone else's company. In a slim change you opt for mine, however, I'd of course prefer to be available for the reason I just stated above.

That's all actually, nothing much.