Heatstroke

"Everybody finds love 
In the end

I can't believe we'll never meet again. 
I haven't told you anything yet. 
I haven't told you anything yet.

Looking upon the flowers scattering after they just opened, 
I wonder, is this the cheerlessness of this grove?

No matter how frightening it is, I won't look away 
if there is love at the end of everything."

~Sakura Nagashi, Utada Hikaru

I swear, early morning is the worst time to have a feverish dream. It brings out the absolute... worst. 

I always say things like "life is long" or "broken things can be fixed". But really, some ideas still haunt me. Like, the idea that every "see you later" is actually a lie, because we cannot be sure if we'll see each other in the same way again. The next time we meet, maybe one of us wouldn't be breathing. Maybe one of us would've suffered some deep damage during the time the other is away. Maybe circumstances would have changed somehow, and we couldn't talk like we always do before. I'd like to believe, even in this darkness of space I'm still floating in my orbital period. But even then stars can burn.

Isn't it scary? It's disturbingly frightening for me, because now it scares me more than it should be.